Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Happy Holidays

When I was six, give or take, I told my friend Zeke the truth about Santa Claus: his name was Mr. and Mrs. Zeke, he rode in a motor vehicle instead of a sleigh, and he didn’t have enough money to buy gifts for the other five billion people on the planet. Zeke didn’t take it very well, and replied with, “Oh yeah, well I don’t believe in Hanukah!”

As the story goes, Zeke’s mom later called my mom to complain that I shouldn’t be telling her son such blasphemy. Was it wrong of me to share my innate knowledge with my friend? Perhaps. Is it wrong to force little Jewish boys to lie about flying caribou and an old man who trespasses and steals cookies? Absolutely.

That said, I’d like to wish you all a belated Happy Hanukah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Forefathers Day, Happy New Year, Happy early Birthday to Sandy Koufax, Tiger Woods, LeBron James and me (all December 30), and a Happy Boxing Day.