Saturday, December 25, 2010

Dudes of Cancer: Monsieur December

“Hacksaw” Jim Duggan

A men’s calendar of any genre or sexual orientation is only legitimate if it includes at least one professional wrestler. I can’t think of a more suitable final entry to this Dudes of Cancer Calendar than a real American patriot, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan.

Duggan’s nickname is not complicated: he carried around a 2x4 piece of lumber, and “Hacksaw” sounds better than “Woody.” He was usually a face (i.e. good guy in wrestling terms), and his fans cheered him with a “U.S.A.!” chant. I guess back in the ‘80s and ‘90s a lumberjack was the symbol of the American way. Now, it is people of my profession: junior acquisition specialists.

Hacksaw wrestled before the advent of thoughtful signature maneuvers, and his was a three-point stance clothesline. That was probably a throwback to his days on the Atlanta Falcons before being released due to injury. It’s more unique than Hulk’s leg drop, so I guess I’ll give him that.

In 1998, Hacksaw was diagnosed with kidney cancer. He was fortunate to receive an early diagnosis, and after surgery he was back in the ring. He then feuded with the anti-American group, the Revolution, and was supposed to denounce the American flag after losing a pay-per-view match. Hacksaw refused and was beaten because of it. I find myself mouthing “U.S.A.!” and sobbing proudly right now.

Hacksaw’s major accomplishments include winning the inaugural Royal Rumble, earning the 1985 Feud of the Year with "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase, and being ranked #157 on the 500 best singles wrestlers by Pro Wrestling Illustrated in 2003. I seriously need to get my hands on that complete list.

Happy New Year, my dear readers, and see you in 2011.
“Hacksaw” Jim Duggan saluting and holding 2x4