Friday, October 11, 2013

If Other Things Shut Down

As published on The Huffington Post

The government shutdown has been rough on the hundreds of thousands of furloughed federal employees and laid-off contractors. But just think how much worse it could be if other things shut down.

If Facebook shut down, then fourth quarter GDP in the U.S. would probably grow by 39 percent.

If Google shut down, then I can't think of a scenario in which the world wouldn't end. Ditto for porn.

If Lindsay Lohan shut down, then courts, TMZ, Us Weekly, nightclubs, hair color companies, car and theft insurance companies, and the Promises, Wonderland and Cirque Lodge rehab facilities would all shut down.

If the NFL shut down, then God may not exist.

If coffee shut down, then Starbucks would only serve venti iced skinny hazelnut rum, sugar-free syrup, extra shot, light ice, no whip. God probably exists. Keep reading, here