Friday, March 22, 2013

How to Complete Your NCAA March Madness Bracket Like a Boss

    2013 NCAA Final Four in Atlanta
  1. Get a computer with at least 6 GB RAM and Intel Core i5. You will need the power after you…
  2. Open 12 tabs on Firefox or Chrome, but not Explorer. Also, I just realized you will need to…
  3. Get a 27-inch widescreen monitor.
  4. Open a tab with the latest Vegas odds of:
    1. Winning the tournament.
    2. Winning each region.
    3. Winning the round of 64.
  5. Open a tab with the trends of which teams people are picking to win the tournament.
  6. Open tabs with team schedules, RPI, rankings and cheerleaders. Fuck mascots.
  7. Open the bracket for each of your pools, in descending order of difficulty-to-win based on the number of people in the pool and their average college basketball intelligence.
  8. Complete your entire first bracket by selecting your champion and working your way out. Since this is your most difficult pool, you can’t simply choose the favorites because, even if those teams win, your total points will still likely be less than someone else’s total. Find the teams Vegas values highly but the NCAA selection committee and bracket filers don’t. If a team with this discrepancy is considered one of the four most likely champions—like Florida—then there’s your bitch.
  9. You may be tempted to pick against a favorite early on based on a discrepancy or hunch. Let this feeling pass. Even if you’re right about Gonzaga losing before the Sweet Sixteen, the risk isn’t worth the reward.
  10. Replicate this bracket for your next pools, but make small yet significant changes beginning at least in the Final Four; preferably changing the winner. Although this seems counterproductive to enjoying the tournament and rooting for specific teams, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. You can still root for the teams in your pool with the biggest payout.
  11. Let’s go UVA in the NIT Tournament!
Happy March Madness.