Thursday, November 22, 2012

My Top 15: I’m Thankful For…

15. Twenty-two percent of my fantasy football team’s starting lineup (Willis McGahee and Rob Gronkowski) getting injured on the same day for the rest of the fantasy season.

14. Robert Griffin III playing for the Redskins and Tony Romo playing for the Cowboys.

13. My two-month diet ending the same week I start a new job at an office that seems likely to provide consistent holiday treats.

12. My five-year-old laptop approaching death just when new ones are available at slashed holiday rates Hanukkah and birthday gifts subsidize the majority of a new one.

11. The thirteen-year-old car my parents bought me when I was 15 still breathing Never having a car payment.

10. My leanness and left-hiplessness leading to a 26-inch waist that adds an additional tailoring cost to every new pair of pants (men's pants begin at a 28-inch waist).

9. My direct-from-Vietnam tailor selling suits so cheaply that even though she screwed up my suit pants and has not sent corrected ones after four months, the perfect suit jacket itself is still worth the full price.

8. Moe’s Southwest Grill just down the street from my building offering two Coke Freestyle Machines. The second is necessary after I deplete most of the flavors from the first on “Moe Mondays”.

7. The one-day gap in health insurance before my new policy begins occurring on a Saturday when I plan to sit on my La-Z-Boy all day I’ll be at a wedding in Charleston doing fun things.

6. No short-term health insurance policies offered for a single day (the minimum is one month).

5. Nothing unordinary happening to me on December 1, 2012.

4. The word "turducken". John Madden "booms" through football game cover

3. JD and me not screwing up Thanksgiving dinner as we take over duties from my mom while she rests her healing foot.

2. Not being allergic to turkey.

1. Sucking up to the turkey spirits to ensure nothing unordinary happens to me on December 1, 2012, despite me eating several pounds of that critter today.