Mother’s Day is not for commemorating the person who brought you into the world. It’s for pressuring your friends to perform a few mouse clicks or touches so you can earn a free book that you’ll love, though your mother may find graphic and callous depending on her age and religious conservatism.

I will no longer force my brand down your throat for nothing. I believe I offended many with that approach and for that I apologize pull the cancer card. I will now badger you while offering my book—my favorite commodity—for free.

This challenge is simple: get five or more of your friends to Like my Facebook Page (who don’t already) and I’ll send you an autographed copy of Twice for free. You are not competing as there can be many winners. Challenge ends 11:59 p.m. on Sunday, May 13, 2012.

Your friends will forgive you once they see my half-naked photos on Facebook. Unless they’re straight dudes. Don’t worry about your mother, either. She won’t forgive you for neglecting her on Mother’s Day, but she will forget because that’s what elderly people do (depending on her age). And President Obama will do something to rile her up more than Twice (depending on her religious conservatism).

Happy Mother’s Day Facebook Challenge!