Last month I visited three supermarkets (SMs) in a row because there are two items that I can only purchase at their respective retailers. I limited the number of return visits by purchasing enough to last nuclear war.

Organic chicken breasts at Costco (CC), cheaper and more conveniently-packaged than competitors

Individually-packaged instant oatmeal at Whole Foods (WF), with rolled oats the only ingredient

Usually I go to Trader Joe's (TJ), which offers the cheapest produce and free samples of coffee. Sometimes I visit Harris Teeter (HT) for the vegetables not offered at TJ, and free cookies (the "kids only" sign means through age ninety-seven, and "please take only one" means six at a time). Throw in CC and WF (see photos above), Walmart (WM) if available (the cheapest of all SMs), and Giant (GT) for $5.50 yard birds on Fridays. WTF, I'm now thinking after reading this paragraph.

I used to mock people for enjoying SMs and spending a lot of time there. Instead, I limited my time investment by parking handicap, and weaving through the human and cart traffic as if I had three hips instead of one.

Until last week I was still a mocker because, despite my behavior, it was all in the name of saving money (though, clearly I need to re-prioritize my time). Then, there was Wegman's (WG).

Last week, in between my two speeches in Lehigh Valley, I brought my computer into WG to kill a few hours. I mock no more: WG is the greatest structure humans have created, not including the pyramids because aliens helped with those. The market cafe offers wifi and ample dumb college girls to laugh at. There are several hot food bars, a produce section the size of TJ, and bulk nuts, dried fruit and candy, which BTW means free samples.

I plan to take my next date to WG (I'll bet you cookies from HT that your date would enjoy it). First, I'll search all the social coupon sites for discounts at the WG hot food bars. Searching all seven of them as well as restaurant.com should only take me…damn, I already forgot about that time prioritization.