Saturday, July 9, 2011

Arlington Update: Coke Zero

My friend, Headquarters, jokes that I had the worst diet in college: Bagel Bites, Pizza Rolls, cupcakes, Goldfish, chips, pretzels, Hot Pockets, frozen pizza, fruit snacks: plastic, cardboard, preservatives, fat, cholesterol, processed, delicious.

That has changed. I contend that I now have the healthiest diet in the country. The most processed food I keep in my apartment is granola bars, followed by Craisins. I used to eat Cheerios, but no longer—plain Shredded Wheat is less processed, with Whole Wheat being the only ingredient.

My only snacks include: dried fruit, raw nuts, and several pounds of fresh fruit each day.

Common meals include: plain oatmeal prepared on the stove, with added Cinnamon and frozen berries. Almond butter and preservative-free jelly on whole wheat. Chicken cooked in olive oil with non-instant long-grain brown rice.

And my staple meal: a salad with at least seven different raw vegetables; two raw seeds; two raw nuts; a vinegar-based dressing without high-fructose corn syrup; and pinto beans, organic egg whites, or organic chicken with curry, coriander, or a different raw herb. It takes at least 20 minutes to prepare and even longer to eat.

Huge salad with vegetables, seeds, nuts and beans

If you don’t know already, then I’ll explain the reason why I’m a health food super duper wackjob in the upcoming story, The Two-Time Cancer-Slaying Super Model: Part II. But before you kneel before me, kiss my pinky toe and lick my armpit (or something like that), let me disclose my only two vices: the occasional brewdog, and the frequent Coke Zero.

Coke Freestyle machineTwo weeks ago I drank a Double Big Gulp of Coke Zero—a solid half-gallon—two days in a row. My friend, Mattkind, told me about Coke Freestyle—a Redbox-like Coke kiosk that may be sexier than the giant blue chick from Avatar.

I share Coke Zero’s awesomeness with so many friends, colleagues and readers that I should be a paid consultant—or at least receive free Coke Zeros. I love their taste and lack of calories. But truth be told, I believe they are unhealthy and wonder if they are cancer-causing. I have tried to stop drinking them—for instance, I refuse to store them in my apartment. But they are plentiful at my parents’ house, at work, and now at restaurants, and I may soon quit trying to give them up. I had the willpower to eat 1,500 calories a day for 1.5 years, but I can’t refrain from the acid.

I hope my general healthy lifestyle more than counteracts the soda. Even more so, I hope I don’t start dipping my Shredded Wheat biscuits in Coke Zero or use it as salad dressing. When I begin excreting brown liquid from any orifice then I’ll consider it a problem.


Alice Mayers said...

Moderation is still the key to everything. I am not a soda fan and I am really not into coke zero but I crave for it every once in a while. I give in but I moderate.

Chanced upon this blog and I must say you have to worry about me throwing comments every now and then. :)

Benjamin Rubenstein said...

Bring it on, Alice. "Both Nuts" could use a female take on things.