Monday, August 13, 2007

Nice Sunglasses, She Said

In the summer before my first year of college I got a pair of black Oakley sunglasses, complete with orange prescription lenses. They were as kickass as shades get. In fact, I rarely wore them on campus because I was afraid girls would be instantly attracted, dump their boyfriends and begin pursuing me. The angry boyfriends would then form a cult intent on destroying me and my Oakleys. A legitimate fear, I know.

I decided to take the risk one late afternoon on the way to the dining hall with my friend, PingPongGirl. I walked across the quad to wait for her in front of her dorm. I sat on the bench and stretched out my arms, looking cool as can be. A different girl in her dorm stepped out and looked at me. “Nice sunglasses,” she said with a smile, and then walked away.

Holy shit, is it really working? What if these really are a babe magnet?

PingPongGirl walked out of her dorm shortly after and looked at me funny. Oh no, not you too. She began laughing hysterically.

“What’s so funny?” I asked.

“Benjy, look at your sunglasses!”

“What are you talking about? Some girl just hit on me because of them.”

“Seriously, just look at them,” she said, continuing to laugh.

I took the Oakleys off my head and looked at them. Incredibly, without me noticing, one of the lenses had popped out. I was walking around campus looking like a pirate with an orange Oakley lens of an eye patch.


.. said...

sounds like this one time i had bought a skirt for work. i changed into it in the washroom then walked into the back where all the staff hang out. one of the guys i worked with said "i like your skirt". i said thanks and didn't think much of it, until 2 seconds later when one of the girls pulled me aside to tell me the real reason why he liked my skirt. the hem of my skirt had somehow gotten tucked into my panties and my ass was hanging out the back of my skirt. nice.

R Delect said...

how could you not notice that things were ORANGE out of one eye, an dNORMAL out of the other?

Anonymous said...

I believe that's what we in academic circles call, "Classic."

Anonymous said...

I can totally relate to that. Fantastic story.

Ho-Train said...

Shit Benjy, you were just a pirate, looking for some booty.

Anonymous said...

I actually Laughed Out Loud

Anonymous said...

HA HA Pirate looking for some booty.....oh Ho-Train.