Yesterday I got a call from my friend Zeke in regards to my latest entry, The White Chrysler.
"Hey, I read your Chrysler story."
"Yeah, what'd you think?"
"I was disappointed."
"Why, you didn't like it?"
"No, it's not that. I just wanted you to do something to her car."
I chuckle.
"Like scratch it or something?"
"No, not scratch it."
"Then what?"
"Piss on it."
"You wanted me to piss on her car?"
"A little urine never hurt anybody."
Zeke definitely had a point. In fact, after talking with him I was disappointed in myself for doing nothing. But remember this—I won't forget that little white Chrysler. I even remember the sticker on her back window. If I ever see that bitch's car again I'm going to piss right on the door handle.
...Well, if I'm in a bad mood...and it's dark out...and I still have a grudge toward her...and had been drinking...heavily.
Better yet, we can settle it once and for all in a steel cage match. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan will be the special guest referee.
Monday, February 26, 2007
The White Chrysler: Part II
Benjamin Rubenstein is the author of the Cancer-Slaying Super Man books. You can subscribe to his quarterly newsletter Words by ruBENstein and cancerslayerblog.
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5 comments:
Another idea. You know wield a mighty power. Get her name or license number or even note what the sticker says and PUBLISH IT ON YOUR BLOG SITE. Eventually everyone will know. Wonder how many friends she'll have then. And if it happens to be her roommate's van, she'll just say it wasn't me, it was...
I can think of one worse thing than peeing on the door handle...yeah that's right I went there...
Grease under the door handles always works!
you should have pooped on the car...i would have
Well if you still wanna piss on her car if you see it again, but it's not night.. just go around the bend, pee in a cup, and then pour!
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